Approach Anxiety Exercise
One of our Master Instructors, Royce in Amsterdam, has recorded a special treat for us. Check it out now:
Audio Player
Or, “right click here” and “save as” the entire audio in MP3 format.
Credit to Royce and CJ for this free value.
-m
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October 26th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
this is just weird as fuck
October 26th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Does it matter if it’s weird? What’s important is whether or not it works…
October 26th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Hey Mehow, just wondering how do you and your instructors “reprogram students’ body language and get rid of those little subtle mistakes they make in their Sub-communication” (quote from bootcamp page)? NLP? Drills? Something other?
Thanks
Nice audio btw, reminds me of Eric (Hypnotica)
October 26th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Frozen,
we do it with drills. im actually working on a “use at home” version of those – that will be available on the VIP list later this week.
-m
October 26th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Really good trance. But some parts near the beginning should have been credit Hypnotica.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
LOL. Sounds like a Hypnotica wanna be.
October 26th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
CK is right , how would this work ?
you know what we have to accept that anxiety is an emotion we have to fight ourselves.
the bitch about this is, our minds have these three elements ringing over and fuckn ovr again :
PAST > we have been taught to learn from our mistakes, hence we are outcome attached ,yet its is vital to frgt about it or letting go off if
PRESENT> to live in the moment so that everything will take care of itself, sadly will it work for evrygirl ?!!!
FUTURE> like the guy we just heard over here says imagine sucess and what not, that is so fucken easy and enjoyable like a dream but its not real mr Anxiety is.
if anybody has any other suggested anxiety material .Please let me know. and how is hynotica’s material cos am planing to get to his stuff jus after i get more familiar with mehow’s
October 27th, 2009 at 11:12 am
my name is bachahamo i have nothing to say for right now thank you
October 27th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Hey Mehow,
I think that a “drills product” would be an awesome idea, I personally have never heard of anyone else having released anything like that.
Drills excercises that you can do with a partner or by yourself are really helpful IME, it would be great to have some like that related to 10SSA.
Btw Mehow, will you ever add the Nick Sparks episodes to the “Infield Insider Vault? I missed out on those and would like to get them in the future.
Thanks
October 27th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
This is an excellent audio…good job. Innergametapping.com is also useful for approach anxiety. It involves trance stuff like this. The book Power of Now is also great of inner game. Go to youtube and type in innergametapping and Power of Now to listen to them.
October 27th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Hypnosis / NLP does not provide a magic bullet.
I’ve been experimenting with different ways to get past AA – for several years now.
Sure, hypnosis/NLP might be able to help tip the scales. But they won’t ever evaporate fears in the way that they are advertised.
So far, the only reliable way that I’ve found is a combination of things:
1) Be really certain of your motivations and goals with women in general
2) Act on real attraction. For yourself. Not to impress anyone or prove something.
3) Be desensitized. Be approaching often and habitually. Be generally social.
In my 4 years of imroving my skills with women, this is the only combination I’ve ever seen work for anybody.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:53 am
paul,
i think vin has a product called dicarlo drills manual.
October 29th, 2009 at 4:01 am
I can say first hand experience that the drills are the BOMB!
The product will be amazing and it will once again revolutonise the way we game and become so much more consistant
October 29th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Thanks to Royce for that transe, btw
October 29th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
awesome this audio , i am from peru . you know if the audio is done on spanish , there are people what speak spanish
you can traduce in spanish ……….. this audio
October 30th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Yo has Royce done anymore of this stuff?
Amazing trance btw
November 1st, 2009 at 4:51 am
Mehow, what happened to the Nick Sparks episode?
Did you film it?
What do you need / what could people do, to get that going?
The best thing I use a lot from Hudson MTV was ‘you look apprehensive’,
Nick Sparks is from that camp, so I want to see it. Learn.
November 1st, 2009 at 7:57 am
its done – shipping this week. both issues.
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Hey Mehow, you coming to San Fran this weekend?
November 7th, 2009 at 9:19 am
Whats goin on, so silent recently. <.<
November 10th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Hey Mehow, can you tell me how?
November 11th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Yo, Johnny what’s up with the book? You know what, my biggest problem that I’ve had since discovering seduction community is that there have been a lot of PUAs, different styles and I was so confused… In 2002 there was only Mystery Method (and few others), and even tho MM isn’t perfect at all, everyone in the community was following that same path, and there wasn’t MM vs RSD vs BB vs WTF thing…
Now everyone can make a website, and teach some new “method” and claim that it’s better then others. And not just that there is like 2 different styles of attraction, or opening, or more intrigue based game vs BT based game… now there isn’t literary anything that some “guru” doesn’t say it works…
For example, I’ve just read a post by Sean Messenger that says YOU SHOULD NOT KINO ALMOST AT ALL! And I’ve been working so much on becoming that touchy guy! Or I’ve read somewhere that even qualifying the girl is bad… And everything can make sense in some way. But it’s not just gurus, a lot of guys on the forums seem to be trying to convert you to their side. They will flame you for using routines and not being a “natural”, or not being DIRECT ENOUGH and opening a girl with “I wanna fuck you”.
There is too many guru worshipers, and even cults like RSD. They can suck you into their reality really fast, and change your beliefs about other systems. It’s funny that sometimes infield there is Tyler’s voice in my head saying: HEY DUDE YOU WILL GET BLOWN OUT, OKAY? YOU NEED MORE NIMBUS! OTHERWISE NO MAKE OUTS, RIGHT? OKAY? It reminds me of Lovedrop repeating CHILL, CHILL, CHILL or something to Mehow, but now imagine Tyler with his high pitch voice saying NIMBUS, NIMBUS, NIMBUS, MAKEOUT, MAKEOUT, MAKEOUT! And if I get rejected then he’s like SEE? I TOLD YOU! YOUR NIMBUS IS BROKEN! BLAH BLAH BLAH….
And this is so bad for your inner game, because it is making you doubt in the whole system you’re doing… Anyone experienced something similar?
P.S. What’s with the forums?
November 12th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Frozen Flame,
Book comes out very soon, most likely early next week
Just go out and do you what you want. There is no right or wrong way. The WORST thing you can do is follow someone else’s methods. The only person who can really describe what’s going on is Mystery…but I believe he is illuminati/free mason.
Just start your own business and do what you want…
November 12th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Get over all this BS. Bottom line is your inner game.
If you fix your inner game you can be a natural with not only women but with people around you.
All this NLP, trance, hypnosis can act as band aid.
Unless you decide to lose your inner fears all this will not work.
Yeah, this was real pleasant and relaxing to listen to.
Let’s hope you can maintain that state of mind when you enter a busy noisy club.
November 13th, 2009 at 8:57 am
Hey Mehow,
Is your Accelerated Attraction product only used for nightgame? What type of stuff should I expect when I buy it??
-t
November 13th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Frozeb Flame just do what you feel like, and observe what happens in the real world. Observe how normal non-community people interact, how they flirt etc. As you get more experienced with girls you will realize that 99% of the advice in the community is bullshit. Not because the content is bad, but because there is always a layer of weirdness covering the good information. It is as if those “gurus” never learnt how to be normal or have a normal group of friends and have dates normally, so all their advice is distorted through their creepy world view.
Really all this seduction stuff is just common sense. Once you “get it” it is not complicated at all, it is actually very easy. The problem is that it is more of a “understanding by feel” kind of thing, it is hard to break down logically. You end up distorting and overcomplicating things.
Honestly I think most random people on the street will give you better dating advice than all the shit these “seduction experts” sell you. Keep in mind that this is more of a “make money” industry than it is a field of knowledge.
Mehow seems like a smart guy. I don’t know why he left that cool hacker job he had in the past and went on precisely into this industry. An industry where your average costumer is retarded, your competitors are mostly incompetent douchebags who are shit with girls yet they get the costumers because all they need to know is how to hype their marketing so much that all the retards will fall for every word they say. This is closer to the “penis pills” industry than it is to martial arts (as Mystery would think). No thank you. I’d rather work somewhere else and surround myself with other people (hot girls included) than with all those fucktards who populate the “seduction community”.
November 13th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Typical Paul…owning every and anything!!
November 13th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Yes, the seduction community is an industry first and foremost where the goal is to maximize profit. There is nothing wrong with that but you have to understand it. It never was about getting girls once it went commercial. Its like when you go to a “How to make money” seminar, the only reason the speaker makes money is because people are paying to learn how to make money.
I think the community was good way back in the day but once these internet marketers got in there it went to crap. These guys are very good at what they do: Separate you from your money and make you a repeat customer. They create what I call a “false positivity bubble” of reality which is 100% false. However, you think its true and think its better than what you currently have so you fall for it. They want you to THINK of this distorted view of reality and try to chase it…you’re chasing a ghost. Its 100% make believe. Ever wonder why they have all these pictures of hot girls on their blogs and products? They are just stock photos. It attacks your subconscious mind. Stop asking questions because there ARE no answers.
I guarantee you if you went out with these guys for a few nights you’d come home and say to yourself “What the hell?”
November 15th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
@ Frozen Flame:
It’s kind of like bodybuilding. Go pick up a magazine and you’ll see everything from low-weight to high-weight, low rep to high rep, should you train once, twice, three times a day? Should you do just one set or multiple sets? How sports-specific should you be training? Should you be training with barbell style weights at all or should you just use kettlebells, sandbags, and balancing boards? Etc.
You’ll go retarded trying to sift through all that information. The guys who get results… are the guys who go to the gym. The guys who get good with women… are the guys that go out in the field.
Paul is right on though, there is a lot of what Hypnotica called “Community inbreeding”. Guys hang around other community guys and absorb their views on things. And then they hang around more community guys and absorb their views on things. Until finally, you’ve got a bunch of guys who think completely different than anyone else, and they’re…. weird. The same way any insular group of guys gets weird, think about D&D nerds that hang around each other and never get out. Or how quickly you can spot a guy who has been in the military for the past two years, he’s been insulated and his views on things can be completely off-whack. (I worked for a group of officers in the military and it would be frightening if their worldviews were ever implemented.)
Now, concerning to-touch or not-to-touch, here’s how you need to think about all seduction advice. It’s a TELOS, or an end-goal. What is the goal of touching? Well, here it is:
1.) It calibrates. You touch a girl and if she doesn’t jerk back, or look at you weird, or react negatively, it means she’s comfortable with you.
2.) It escalates. You get away with touching her on the arm, it will allow you to move up the escalation chain ladder. Get Desmond Morris’ “The Naked Ape”, it has a ladder of human physical contact by a trained primatologist that explains things more scientifically and clearer than the community can, but the “no duh” idea you’ll get from it is “Before you can have sex with a girl, you’ll have to kiss her.”
So you have two end goals, escalation and calibration. So what are the downsides?
1.) If you plan on going out with her on a date, it will make things weird. She already made out with you in the dance club, so she’s going to assume, “He’s just after sex.” And if you ask any woman, (go ahead), they’ll tell you they’ve turned down guys before, even ones they like, because they assumed he was only interested in sex. This can also affect how you have to plan dates, by the way, anything too obviously sex-related will not usually work.
2.) She can reject it. So you touch her and she reacts weird, you can pull back and wait, but it will make things weirder from that moment on.
3.) It will telegraph your intent to her group and make them get protective of her.
So the question is, “Can you escalate and calibrate without touching?” Well, yes. “Does that work better for you than touching?” I don’t know, only *you* will know from going out and trying it and seeing if that’s really how you like to act around people.
Now, the big thing I disagree with Paul is that “watch what other guys do” piece. Don’t ever worry about what anyone else is doing, particularly because what most people do is stand around with their thumbs up their ass. Most guys think I’m amazing because I can get a phone number, I get asked all the time, “How’d you do that?” when I”m thinking, “That’s a phone number, it’s useless.” Just do your thing and don’t worry about anyone else.
If you want to get good, go out, take notes, (drinking will interfere with your memory, so if you’re just practicing I don’t recommend it), and evaluate what you’re doing. How do people react to you? Do you get invited to after-parties? Do the men in the group like you? Do the women? Do people compliment you on what you’re wearing? A pick-up artist can teach you the tools of the trade, they can’t teach you the trade.
November 16th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Guys thank you all! I’m only 18 and thank god I didn’t get any chode habit like buying girls drinks, asking a lot of questions etc. I am very happy that I discovered the game before the age of 18 (here you can go to most of the clubs at 18, and others are 21+) so when I started going to clubs I was rAFC level, and didn’t take any rejection personally, knowing it’s a part of the process and didn’t get frustrated.
If I started gaming at 22, it would be much harder to unlearn all these bad habits first. DJ Fuji at T21C (I recommend this video to all beginners) says that guys that are hardest for him to train on a bootcamp are those who have been going infield for 2+ years.
So that’s why I wanna make sure that I’m doing the right things and skip trial and error process. I wanna spend time in field practicing for example “leaning back”, and not trying to figure out weather it’s right or wrong… I wish someone have told me that “Power of Now” is an amazing book. I’m reading it right now, and the reason I haven’t read it before is because one guy on our PUA forum (and that guy claimed to have awesome results) told me that the book is total bs and it would make me weird!
Maybe the best solution is to buy every product, go to 20 different bootcamps, and than fieldtest everything, but I think I would end up posting on Rev31 (I think they have a different forum now, puahate or smth.)
So guys please answer honestly a few questions (I won’t buy anyone’s product for sure) about inner game.
Do affirmations, trance audio, hypnosis etc. work? What if English is not your main language, is there any difference? What are your experiences with these and other “inner game products”? What’s the best way to use them? And add if there is anything you think I should know.
See ya!
November 16th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
DJ Fuji is talking about specific bad body habits. If you teach boxing and you have a guy who has always rolled his shoulder before he throws a hook, it’s hard to break the habit. He’s not talking about qualification or not qualifying, those things are simple. Body language is hard to fix, and that’s why he and Mehow harp so much about it. Like buying a drink for a girl isn’t a habit, it’s just something you do if you don’t know better, and there are specific situations where it is perfectly okay to buy a girl a drink. Since it’s a conscious choice, it’s not habitual, which involves unconscious repetition of an action. Babe Ruth sticking his tongue out before he threw a curveballl was a habit. Babe Ruth ordering Rib-eyes was not. Etc.
Concerning audio and hypno trance, I’ve done undergrad work in psychology and know of no recognized use of that for treatment of any phobias. The most common treatment is immersion treatment, you just make someone do something they’re terrified of, called “flooding” in behavior psychology. More gradual immersion therapy can be used, but I’ve never found any NLP stuff useful either from a theoretical perspective, (which it ranks next to phrenology in scientific literature) or from a practical perspective. Want change? Go do something. You can use specific “contraindication behavior” if you want to eliminate a specific bad habit. E.g. if you play with your hands you can hook your thumb around your belt loop and then you can’t play with your hands.
“So that’s why I wanna make sure that I’m doing the right things and skip trial and error process.”
You need to listen to DJ Fuji talk about the myth of the magic bullet and the myth of the perfect pick-up. He addresses both those things DIRECTLY in that same convention. THERE IS NO LEARNING IN PICK-UP APART FROM TRIAL AND ERROR!!!!! That’s like saying you want to learn how to fight but don’t want to spar. Or that you want to learn baseball without going out in field and actually catching a ball or batting at the plate. The theory is worthless apart from the experience.
For you, you have wayyyy too much theory in your head and you’ll nut up when you go out because you’re going to get analysis paralysis. Go out, take your lumps, and when you hit a specific problem, *then* you need to check out what theories are out there about what might be going wrong. And when that happens, guess what? It’s trial-and-error. You’ll have to test out what theories work and which ones don’t.
November 16th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
If you’re 18 then you should not even be anywhere near the community
The community is for 40 yr old virgins..
November 17th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Wow, do I really seem like a KJ
@ NoMan: Yeah, my bad… replace buying drinks with “doing interview”. Thanks dude!
“For you, you have wayyyy too much theory in your head and you’ll nut up when you go out because you’re going to get analysis paralysis.” – not true for me
And I was talking about TRIAL AND ERROR like Mystery did.
“That’s like saying you want to learn how to fight but don’t want to spar” – no, that’s like you want to learn how to fight but don’t know how to use hands and legs, so you are biting enemies.
@ Johnny: I have improved since joining the community… What do you think I should do and why? Yeah maybe in US average guy on a street know more then PUA gurus, but southern europe is a f-ing chodeland!
And what’s your story dude? Are you a natural? For how long have you been in the community? And there is a lot of young successful guys in the community that started at the age of 18 and earlier.
November 17th, 2009 at 10:44 am
“Yeah maybe in US average guy on a street know more then PUA gurus, but southern europe is a f-ing chodeland!”
It’s not much different in the US. The majority of guys, about 99.9%, don’t get laid at all. They stand around and do nothing. They’re easy to talk to if you get bored because well, they’re bored. When I talk to these guys, I usually get invited to parties or other events because they’re so glad someone is talking to them.
Group 2, the players, typically do one thing, one simple thing that makes them amazing.
They are always out. 24/7. Every night.
Any real players are always out, every night. And they usually do two things:
1.) They play pool at low-level, low-energy places.
2.) They dance.
Why’s this important? Because they have fun when they go out, hence they go out. If you just go out to pick up women, you’ll stop going out because it won’t be any fun when you don’t achieve your goal. I’ve also never met an ugly player, a player with any impediments, etc. There’s a third group as well, “A level” guys. One of my ex’s has a sister who was a live-in playmate for Playboy, and she hangs out with multi-millionairres, movie directors, etc. Those guys don’t do anything but get into places you can’t dream of and spend more money in a night than I bet all of us combined make in a year. I exclude them because if you’re not one of them, you probably never will be one of them.
Now for regular players, there’s another thing about them. They typically fuck anything that walks. I’ve never met an ugly player, (some 100 plus players later, it’s like meeting the same guy over and over again), and I’ve never met a player with any discrimination. Yeah, they occassionally get a hot girl, but usually, they get very mediocre and even downright ugly girls. They just don’t care. If you took your average player at any random club, and made a portfolio of all the girls they slept with, I bet you’d cringe just looking at some of them. Hence the myth about 10s, the myth about players, and all that stuff is just nonsense and it should be debunked. Just go out and worry about how well you do.