I’m in Miami right now – I travel around quite a bit. Everywhere I go, men make the same social errors. They make them in LA, they make them in NYC, they make them in Dayton, Ohio (a lot).

I’m at the Shore Club a few nights ago in South Beach – off season. We are here preparing for a film shoot that starts in the winter. But South Beach always delivers, year round. There are always really attractive women around. After a bit of work, they end up at our table. My girl and I really hit it off. Gorgeous slender blonde thing. Our interaction is going really well … so I leave and talk to some other girls.

This is really important – leaving. The good seducer will always let go – will always leave her hanging between hope and doubt as to whether or not things will escalate. If the bad seducer gets anywhere with a girl – he will try to hold on to her for the rest of the night. The air gets filled with that ‘why are you all up on me’ tension. So it is important to ‘just let go’ in every interaction. But there is more to leaving than that.

Women are far more emotionally wired then men are. Women don’t operate on logic nearly as much as we do. For a woman to have a quality enthralling romantic experience with a man there has to be emotional ups and down in the interaction. A lot of women aren’t consciously aware of this but all of them will get bored with logic and with purely positive interactions.

“I like you, I like you, I like you …” is nowhere near as fun for a woman as “I like you, I like you, I hate you … I like you.” If a guy consistently verbally or otherwise only communicates positively with a women the interaction (or marriage, even) will die. So the good seducer will always mix the positive with the negative, the sweet with the sour, like a good cocktail. Walking away from an interaction is a negative communication to her – it says ‘I’m just not that into you.’ – Without actually saying it.

So if you are having a positive interaction with a woman, and you just leave to interact with other women, when you come back the first girl will be even more into you. She now knows that you are totally un-needy, she knows you have no problem walking away; she knows that you have other choices, she is jealous and she unconsciously knows that you are giving her the optimal emotional experience. Bottom line, if you do this, and don’t make any social errors during your interaction – your girl will be really, really into you.

And so it was with my Shore Club blonde.

I’m at the Shore Club in Miami; I have a woman I just met. We are really into each other. I walk away to interact with other women – I come back and my girl is talking to two guys who are, very eagerly, chatting her up.

This is all a normal part of social interaction. Women will frequently find other guys to talk to when a guy they are into just walks away – they won’t leave the area, because they know who they really want – but having someone else to talk to when your man leaves you is nice.

I walk up to the group:

“Whoa, whoa, that’s my little sister you are talking to.” I say jokingly. My girl smiles. The guys immediately assume from my freakishly confident body language that what I’m saying is to risky to debate and they commit a social error, “Um … ya man … your sister is um … really nice … I was just telling her this story.”

I know exactly what’s going on. These guys are not alpha males, they are not friends of hers, they are guys that are just trying to jack my girl and they are effectively asking me permission to continue their story. Getting rid of them is going to be really easy.

The best way to blow girl-stealing beta males out of your reality is to communicate with your girl in any emotionally interesting way. Men untrained in this stuff have no idea how to talk in an emotionally relevant way to women – so when I start talking in an emotionally relevant way to a woman – they don’t know how to add anything to the conversation. They typically just stand there until they walk away. Sometimes they get more interesting, giving the good seducer more to work with.

I start into some story about how interesting our future divorce will be, “You can have Fluffy, but I’m keeping the mansion in Hong Kong.” My girl is all smiles and the guys look at each other nervously. They don’t get it, they never do. They are cut out of the conversation and as my chat about the divorce continues, time passes and they get that ‘we are cut out of this conversation’ feeling in their stomach.

Out of desperation, they make a second social error and the really-far-better-then-me-looking one says, “Um, dude … I don’t mean to be rude … but I was just telling HER a STORY.” I reply, while grabbing his shoulder, “I can tell you are a really cool guy, and I’m sure your story is absolutely fascinating.” And then I walk away back to my table as if nothing at all happened. I already know how this story will end.

Before I even sit down, my girl taps me on the shoulder, I turn around and we hug each other in a very un-sibling-like full-body-press way. The bad seducers clearly communicated to my girl that they weren’t willing to walk away so she walked away from them. The guys are a bit behind us and I can hear them say, “Shit, dude, that guy isn’t her brother.”

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This entry was posted on Monday, October 30th, 2006 at 11:15 pm and is filed under Attraction, Become A Player. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.