Vault sent this letter in response to a genuine customer query. We’ve been overwhelmed and I think were going on tilt a little bit. We’re not bagging on the customer here at all, his question is a real concern for many (and its already answered in the copy on the 10SSA site) but Vault’s answer was so funny that I had to reprint it …
Customer:
Hey VAULT & MEHOW.Thanks for those free pages.nice book.
I wanted to ask that if I order one of your products,what kind of box will it come in? I mean if the neighbours or friends and family find out,the torture will be merciless.
Hope to hear from u
P.S.thanks for reading.
-customer
Vaults reply:
Our products are shipped in a cardboard box, that is about 4 feet tall, 4 feet wide, and 4 feet deep.
We have each box printed with a super, high gloss, neon yellow paint – that truly glows on the dark.
Then, thorough a randomized process – each box is then plastered with big black letters spelling out such terms as:
- “Womanizing Material Inside!”
- “This guy wants to be a Pick-Up Artists!”
- “Women Be Warned: Pure Seduction Material Inside!”
- “With the Contents in THIS box – You’ll be in my Bed in no time!”
- “Momma’s Don’t Let Your Daughters Date This Guys – He’s a Seduction Machine!”
And as a final touch… we attach a BIG, red helium balloon to the top of each package – that is customized with your name, stating:
“LOOK What YOUR FIRST NAME Just Ordered!!!!”
Oh, and I should mention that each box is fitted with a small music transponder – that plays circus music once it leaves our facility and until opened by you.
I hope this helps!
-Vault-
PS
I’m just kidding… all of our product are shipped in plain packaging.
And there is nothing descriptive about the package in anyway – including the “Shippers Address”.
No one will have a clue what you ordered, or what is inside!